Visitor: "What is this ?" "This is a post... Stupid...", I replied.

Dear bloggers and friends,

I would like to make up for the long pause of posting on my blog. Those who have been occasionally following my blog would felt very empty as if thinking.. Is this guy dead or something ? He was usually noisy and active. So, heres a very long post !!! Enjoy !!!

I would like to give some comments about the novel named " Twilight ". If your a fan of it, just bear with it. It's my comment on how i feel towards it. I've not finish the novel yet since I just started reading it today. I'm only at page 212. It took me about 3 hours to read until there. Damn slow right ? Haizz... my speed reading is like tortoise speed.

Well, about the story line for the novel. Starting it will make you curious on how Isabella Swan will find out the true identity of Edward Cullen and his family. How would Edward Cullen react when Isabella Swan known the truth. Those made me curious and followed the story. After reading it... I can't believe that in just a short while, Isabella found out his identity so easily and shes new to the place. Wow. Is all I can say.

Edward Cullen even acted so cool and everything. What's the point being a vampire =.= They are like so cool... not afraid... destroy my mood to read it... Lols... like not fun anymore...When Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen became close with each other... All they do was ask questions... zzzz ... boring man... like just taking up a few pages for craps.... Harry Potter is even better...

Isabella Swan ask the question that will ease the curiosity of the readers... but Edward Cullen ask questions such as.... What colors do you like ? ..............................................what the heck....................................... Wa wa wa wa I don't want to say anymore. After Twilight fans will come slaughter me.

Haha.. Today I went JUSCO in One Utama. I bought clothes and pants which is a miracle... Because I don't really do shopping. I don't have any interest in it. but well I spent about 380-400 on my shopping... can say cheaper than most of you guys. lols.

So how are you Chang Nien ? How are you doing in Australia ? Your auntie or sister got whip you or smack you or not ? I heard you can cook a few dishes such as maggi mee ? haha kidding. I know you cook rice, yong tau fu and other dishes. Well, not really dishes.. more like titbits and....ahhh... I don't know what to say. You still cracking your head on addmaths chapter two ???

I'm fine here. Haha. Can tell me when is Chang Thai birthday date ? I think I forget. Is it December 17th ??? I kept thinking it's 17.. maybe I'm wrong. I'm going to Taiwan on 21st of December until 27th of December.. Hopefully Kar Soon don't make gathering on this date... Zan Hong said it might be on 24th... if it is.. then I cannot go....

If I cannot go... Less people less fun.... no me no fun ... lols...

*Heres A Rap*

I don't really know what to post daily,
because I've not been doing much lately.

I'm not going to simply spam my blog,
because I'm not a barking dog.

I'm spinning my head round and round,
thinking of what to do, I'm underground.

Underground in where on earth?
Why do you ask ? To get on my nerve ?

I'm really bored I've nothing to do,
I'm still thinking even when I poo.

Here I lie in stinky vapor,
because some bastard stole the toilet paper.
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
or shall I be forced to use my finger.

You're lucky,
you had your chance.
I tried to fart,
and shit my pants!

I came here,
to shit and stink.
But all I do,
is sit and think.

Some come here to sit and think.
Some come here to shit and stink.
But I come here to scratch my balls,
and read the bullshit on the walls...

*Toilets walls also double as job advertisement space........*

(Written High Upon The Wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire Department wants you.

*Ministry of Environment advertisement*

We aim to please!
You aim too ! Please !

( On the inside of a toilet door )
*Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.*

( Sign seen at restaurants to teach customers a lesson )
*The hands that clean these toilets also make your food... Please aim properly.*

+Here are some jokes for you all people+

*Small Jokes*
Q: Are you sexually active ?
A: No, I just lie there.

Q: What is your date of birth ?
A: October 13th.
Q: What year ?
A: Every year.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
A: May I ask why am I here ?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you ?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q:What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said ,"Good morning, Cathy."
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
A: Twenty-year-old.

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
A: Yes, I was.

Q: Your the mother of this child ?
A: Yes, I am.
Q: His born on the year 1995. 15th of March. Am I right ?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time ?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: Can you describe the individual that rob you ?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or female ?

Q: All your responses must be oral, ok ? What school did you go to ?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined Mr.Dennington body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr.Dennington was dead at that time ?
A: No, he was lying on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample ?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse ?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure ?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing ?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy ?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor ?
A: Because his heart was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to KLIA.
Station MAster: No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted," Order, order !"
The drunkard immediately responded," Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."

Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to PJ in two days time?
Post Master: Yes sir , it definitely will.
Customer: I bet you, it won't.
Post Master: Why not?
Customer: It's addressed to Ipoh.

An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
"My trouble is," he said," that I keep forgetting things."
"How long has this been going on?" asked the psychiatrist.
"How long has what been going on ?" said the man.

Girl: Do you love me ?
Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love.

1st Thief: Oh ! The police is here. Quick ! Jump out of the window !
2nd Thief: But this is the 44th floor.
1st Thief: Hurry ! This is no time for superstitions.

Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me.
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became my father only when I was born.

Teacher: Correct the sentence," A bull and a cow is grazing in the field."
Student: A cow and a bull is grazing on the field.
Teacher: How?
Student: Ladies first.

Teacher:Peter, why are you late for school?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.

Customer: Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter: Can't you tell the difference by taste"
Customer: No, I can't
Waiter: Then does it really matter?

Customer: Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Water: Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: That's all right sir, he won't drink much.

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So ? You expect me to call a lifeguard ?

Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup ?
Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Funny? Why aren't you laughing?

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: Don't worry, the spider in the soup will eat it.


*Long Jokes*
1)-Who is real teacher !!! Student or Teacher ?!!-

One Night, 4 MBA students were boozing till late night and didn't study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning, they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt.

They then went up to the professor and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the professor said they can have the retest after 3 days. They said they will be ready by that time.

On the third day, they appeared before the professor. The professor said that this was a special condition test.

All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days.

The test were handed out to them.

They stared at the test papers that consist of the following questions.



Q1. Your name ( 1 Mark )
Q2. Which Tyre Burst ( 99 Mark )


2) Anyone you know having the same kind of name like this?

Lee Sum Wan : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?

Mr Sori : Yes, you could speak to me.

Lee Sum Wan: No! I want to speak to Annie Wan !

Mr Sori: You are now talking to someone ! Who is this ?

Lee Sum Wan: I'm Sum Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan ! It's urgent !

Mr Sori: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But what's this urgent matter about ?

Lee Sum Wan: Well just tell Annie Wan that Noe Wan got injured in an accident and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is going to the hospital.

Mr Sori: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this !!!

Lee Sum Wan: You are rude. Who are you?

Mr Sori: I'm Sori.

Lee Sum Wan: You should be sorry. Now give me your name !

Mr Sori: I'm Sori !!!

Lee Sum Wan: I don't like your tone of voice Mr and I don't care, give me your name !

Mr Sori: Look lady, I told you already I'm Sori ! I'm Sori ! I'm SORI !!! You didn't even give me your name !

Lee Sum Wan: I told you before I'm Sum Wan ! Sum Wan !!! You better be careful my father is Sum Buddy. And my uncle holds a very big position in the company. He is Noe Buddy !!!

3)Pride and Joy

Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest room.

The ones who stayed behind began to talk about their kids and their successes.

The first guy says:

I am very proud of my son, he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel.

He studied Economics and Business Administration soon he was promoted and began to climb the corporate ladder becoming the General Manager and now he is the president of the company.

He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.

The second guy says:

Damn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him.

He started working at a travelling agency for a very big airline. He went to flight school to become a pilot and also manage to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets.

He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.

The third guy says:

Well, well, well congratulations ! My son is also my pride and joy and he is also very rich.

He studied in the best universities and became an Engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He also gave away some very nice and expensive things to his best friend for his birthday. He built a 30,000 square feet mansion specially for his friend.

The three friends congratulated each other mutually for the successes of their sons.

The forth friend who earlier gone to the restroom returned and asked: What's going on, what are all the congratulations for ?

One of the three said:
We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. And then he asked, what about your son?

My son is gay and he makes a living dancing as a strippper at a nightclub.

The three friends said:
what a shame that must be, that is horrible, what a dissappointment you must feel.

The forth man replied:
No, I am not ashamed. Not at all. He is my son and I love him just as well, he is my pride and joy.

He is very lucky too. Did you know that his birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 square feet mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes Benz from his three boyfriends.

4) Joke of the Week
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, thought, so Peter had to tell the first one," Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

So the first man replies:" Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground ! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off, so finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and started hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long so he let go and fell. But even after 25 stories, he feel into the bushes , stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen , grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly, But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."

" That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full and again asks for his story.

"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay,, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now i'm here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

The third man came to the front of the line and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.

"Picture this," says the third man," I'm hiding inside a refrigerator..."

5) Investigations
Sherlock Holmes and Dr.Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replies," I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson ponders for a minute."Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you ?"

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks." Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."




LOLS. LOLS. LOLS. LOLS. LOLS

I hope you all have enjoy and entertained by this superb long post of mine. I even took quite some time just to type them out. My hands are tired. Haha. Wow it's late here. It's 1:40 A.M. Need to get some sleep. Well. I'm out of here.

Yours truly and friendly,
Roy~