Heres another jokes for you...

Dear bloggers and friends,

Have been down or depress lately ? Here are some jokes to cheer you up.

1) "Hey, buddy," said the taxi passenger, tapping the driver on the shoulder. The driver screamed and lost control of the cab, nearly hitting a bus, jumping the kerb and stopping centimetres from a huge plate-glass window.

For a few moments, everything was silent. The the driver said,"You scared the daylights out of me!"

"I'm sorry," said the passenger."I didn't realize a tap on the shoulder would frighten you so much."

"It's not your fault," the driver replied."Today is my first day drivinga cab.I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

2) A big, burly man paid a visit to a priest's home. "Sir," he said,"I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family. The father is unemployed, and the mother can't work because of the nine children she must raise. They are hungry and soon will be forced onto the street unless someone pays their $500 rent."

"How terrible!" exclaimed the priest. Touched by the concern of a man with such a gruff appearance, he asked, " May I ask who you are?"

The visitor sobbed,"I'm their landlord."

3) Simple Simon applied for a deputy sheriff's job. During the interview, the sheriff asked him,"What's one and one?"

Simon answered,"Eleven."

This wasn't what the sheriff meant, but he had to admin the boy was right.

Next question:"What two days of the week start with the letter T?"

"Today and tomorrow."

The sheriff was impressed by the way Simon thought outside the box, so he challenged him.

"Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

Simon looked surprised and admitted,"I don't know."

"Well, go home and work on that one for a while," replied the sheriff, satisfied that he'd stumped him.

Simon went home and told his mother,"The interview went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"

4) Two elderly men were sitting on a park bench, enjoying the autumn sunshine."If I had a choice of where to die,"said one,"I would definitely choose my garden in the summer."

"If I knew where I was going to die," replied his companion,"I wouldn't go there."

5) I heard the strangest recording when I called the telephone company the other day. It said, " You have been connected to the correct department on the first try. This is against company policy; please hang up and try again."

6) "Young man, where do you work?" the judge asked the defendant.

"Here and there," replied the man.

"What do you do for a living?"

"This and that."

"Take him away,"said the judge.

"Wait a minute!" the defendant cried out."When will I be released?"

The judge replied," Sooner or later."


Yours truly and friendly,
Roy~